It’s easier to join an abusive church, a cult group than it is to get out. In the same way, it’s far more difficult to correct a lie with the truth. This is why it takes time, patience to get people away from the false teachings of the false teachers and cults.

Mark Twain said “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes. Winston Churchill echoed his sentiment stating, “A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.”

Cult leaders have a lot of advertising these days and can often pass for the genuine; but only if there is no scrutiny. And we all know that discernment is probably at its lowest point in church history.

We are to be looking for substance, adherence to the core teachings in the Bible. But unfortunately for those who are new and enter the church they are unable to tell the difference. For many that have been in the church and have never been brought through the core doctrines, they too have a difficult time discerning what is error. When you depend on a leader’s personality there are often manipulations, where if you depend on the word there will be far less.

When a person dedicates their life to a certain group or church it seems real, it changes them.  It is different than entering a relationship with the Lord and being a servant to him, not the church. This change can often mimic living by the spirit and they are convinced it is the same thing by the group or church, but it is not. Here’s how one can tell if they are allowing the Lord to control your life, or they do: Do you now want to read and learn the bible on your own or do they insist that they appoint someone to teach you.  Are they demanding your time instead of allowing your choice in it. Do they expect everyone to be the same in their activities and thinking. Do they warn you about other churches or teachers without allowing you to look into it yourself, or prove why they are wrong? Do they expect you to side with them no matter what, because you are a member or a friend? Do they not allow you to question them, and do they not comply with Biblical answers. Do they ignore your asking them to be accountable for what they have said or done that is wrong. are they able to repent or blame you. There are so many ways to manipulate people for religious reasons, and I personally have had these things happen to me in what appeared to be good churches.

I had a pastor I respected want me to break a longtime friendship with a person who teaches outside their church because he disagreed with his sermon. I saw no justified reason for this, and eventually paid a price for it. Needless to say I’m no longer attending that church. I’m still friends with that person whose ministry is strong. I have tried to reach out to this pastor who refuses  to discuss it. I’m not sure this pastor regrets what he said about him.

Don’t let leaders, no matter who they are manipulate you, coerce you into life decisions that you do not agree with, unless they have merit in what they are saying. Anyone can be wrong. They can be wrong, you can be wrong, but no decision should be made quickly and without Biblical support.

When you join a church and they tell you that you are one of them and then separate you from your former friends, replaced  by those inside this new group. Be careful, no matter what their reputation is.

What I’m trying to say to you is check things out; thoroughly, not half - heartedly. It’s for your own spiritual safety. It will prevent you from not wasting your time and money with what you may find is not a true church, or a manipulating pastor who only wants to be obeyed and be recognized. There are numerous gangster pastors that enforce their authority and have the church comply with their rules.

Leave while you have a chance, and think things will change after you have spoken to them. Don’t wait and regret it later. However, when you attempt to break free, the losses can be a painful. Friends and family can be the cost, but truth needs to be pursued above anything else in our lives. Don’t think about what has been lost but look forward to what God has in store: don’t hesitate to go from the dried up ground to green pastures.

Finding a good church that is not about a certain denomination, a brand, a reputation; it ALL depends on the pastor and its leadership. A pastor is called by God. He is one who has studied to show himself approved. He is to go by the Bible if God is to bless his decisions. He is to be genuinely caring, he does not feign care or tell you he cares and does nothing when its time to act. There’s enough phoniness in the world, we don’t need it in the body of Christ.

 Ephesians 4:25 Therefore, putting away lying , "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor," for we are members of one another.